The Wonder Years (Part I) – My Earliest Memory

by Benji Raymond

My first memory of loss was not actually related to the literal meaning of loss at all. I don’t recall how old I was, but I can only assume that I must have been one or two. I remember my mother leaving for work and the tears uncontrollably trickling down my face, almost as if the world had ended, only it hadn’t. I recall the way I clutched to my mother’s legs with all my strength. And even though I had no reason not to believe my mother, her promises of only going to work for a few hours disintegrated through the sound waves. My mother would nod at my South African nanny, who unnaturally appeared to be larger than life, and she would come stomping towards me with her slipslops. I was terrified of her and the way she chuckled, clacked and cackled each morning as the episode would reoccur, again and again, never failing to decrease in its passion.

My nanny would clutch on to me with the strength of a bear, and it only took a second for my apparent superman strength or perhaps lack of strength to be knocked away by a hurricane of Kryptonite. She would then proceed to take a blanket and wrap me on her back and I was stuck there for what seemed to be months while she got on with her daily chores. My tears would continue to trickle down while my mom prepared to leave for work. I rested my tired eyes for what seemed to be a moment and when I opened them, my mom was gone.

-----------------------------------------
The Wonder Years - Introduction
A Woman of Virtue - To Mum
The Wonder Years (Part 1) My Earliest Memory
The Wonder Years (Part 2) Sensitivity and its Implications
The Wonder Years (Part 3) Dad
The Wonder Years (Part 4) The Sun, The Moon & Disappointment
The Wonder Years (Part 8) Chocolate Milk & The Cool Sea Breeze
The Wonder Years (Part 15) - Race, Memory and Innocence
The Wonder Years (Part 16) In Between Two Worlds

A Long December - Poetry