The Wonder Years - Introduction

by Benji Raymond

The more I write down my memoirs the closer I have come to discover that my memory has become associated with an intense search for meaning of explanations as to why events took place and the influence those events exerted on me as an individual. As I meander through my memory and attempt to conjure up events and their influences I have come to embrace memory for its defining ability and its capability in transporting individuals. When our home or country has been lost or changed, memory assists us in reaffirming our identity. Events are often repressed at the time they occur since the emotional trauma limits our resources, and so while a memory may not be reliable it is a significant way of keeping our identity alive. Materialistic visions in this sense are seen to satisfy the burning desire that lies dormant in every one of us that wants to know that the past was not merely invented but was a reality in shaping the person we have become. Situations which produce a profound impact become engrained memories and to forget them can be seen to be forgetting the effect itself, while to remember them is akin to keeping our identity in tact. At times the embedded nature of memory can be so strong that despite seeing the present reality we are still unable to grasp the truth.

When considering the importance of memory it is often worthwhile to consider the function of forgetting since its contrasting purpose assists explaining memory itself. While the notion of forgetting does not erase the uniqueness of a person, it has the power to erode at the surface of identity and consequently gnaws at the understanding of previous events and thus leads to a perception of loss of identity. Perhaps this is what it meant by Kincaid when she states, “…people like me cannot get over the past, cannot forgive and cannot forget.(1)” In this sense Kincaid has focused on an active and conscious form of forgetting, however, at certain instances forgetting is a consequence of memory not meeting the present reality.

Memory and forgetting become linked when they are combined with the use of imagination. Both memory and imagination offer distinctive sets of functions that are required at different sets of times. Imagination provides the strength to form mental images while memory has the power to retain and recall past experiences if the need should arise. When a place as to dear to us as our home ceases to exist or exists but in a form different to our recollections and we possess the gift of using our imagination then our identity continues despite the image in our minds not being real nor present to our physical senses.

Imagination, desire and passion are combined powers that carry one “beyond the limits of one’s mind to other times and other places…to a place where there was no border between oneself and one’s image in the mirror.” Perhaps this why instead of focusing on the strengths of memory, the younger generation has become fixated with imagination. Imagination appears to be our only hope in possessing and retaining an identity and being immune to the hurt and loss often associated with having an imperfect memory. We become focused on shielding ourselves from the consequences of hurt that are likely to follow if we focused on the specifics which do not always appear to link up to the present reality. Imagination in this sense is more reliable than memory, even merely as a source of comfort. Conceivably this is what it inferred when stating that the “shaping force of memory is enormously productive and enabling, but also traumatic and disabling.”(3) Memory has advantages in its function and representation but at times the anticipation of hurt leads one to rely on the strengths of imagination.

An individual’s early years are instrumental. They have the power and influence to go above and beyond one’s own understanding. While they often lay dormant in people’s mind, they are active in the way we interact on a daily basis. This is my account of my early years.

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Footnotes:
1) Jamaica Kincaid, A Small Place, p. 93.
2) The Shadow Lines by Amitav Ghosh P.29
3) Suvir Kaul, Separation Anxiety: Growing up Inter/National in The Shadow Lines

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The Wonder Years - Introduction
A Woman of Virtue - To Mum
The Wonder Years (Part 1) My Earliest Memory
The Wonder Years (Part 2) Sensitivity and its Implications
The Wonder Years (Part 3) Dad
The Wonder Years (Part 4) The Sun, The Moon & Disappointment
The Wonder Years (Part 8) Chocolate Milk & The Cool Sea Breeze
The Wonder Years (Part 15) - Race, Memory and Innocence
The Wonder Years (Part 16) In Between Two Worlds

A Long December - Poetry