The Wonder Years (Part IV)
The Sun, The Moon & Disappointment

by Benji Raymond

In kindergarten I fell in love with one of my teachers. Looking back now, I can’t recall her name or what she looked like. I do, however, remember that she was a warm, caring and loving teacher. One day in what appeared to me to be an unprecedented press conference, she announced that she had to move on to another job. I felt a tear trickle down my face and then almost at once the tears began to flow. From this point on I seemed to master or perhaps not master the art of crying. Even for a young boy I held an above average scorecard of being unable to control the tap which lay in my eyes. What perhaps is more interesting is that I am now unable to cry. I appear to have emptied out all my tears in my younger years and the only tears left are imaginary ones which fall within my dreams.

My teacher who had once seemed to be warm and loving and ever-present, now appeared to grow into a deserter. Nevertheless, she went on to explain that in light of the unfortunate events she had thought up a very special surprise. We all listened attentively as if she were to unveil the secret ingredient of the atomic bomb, or better yet, why chocolate often appeared to be irresistible. My teacher proceeded to clarify that we were going to build a giant airplane which was going to take us across the world. I was astonished and excited, to say the least. When I returned home I could hardly contain my excitement and in short bursts told my mom the great news. My mom smiled and twinkled her nose, something I recall her doing when she was sincerely happy. I took a few minutes to gulp down my lunch and proceeded to pack for this very grand journey. My possessions at that age were unfortunately only a few pieces of clothing and a brown case. But I guess I assumed that packing light was the way to go.

My mom had and continues to have a love for maps and globes and would use any chance available to show them to my sister and me. In our small flat in Berea, a suburb of Johannesburg, she would sit us on the bed and illustrate the marvels of the rotation of the earth using an apple as the moon, an orange as the earth and a lamp as the sun. So that night I naturally lay awake thinking of the oceans and lands my class and I would cross.

The next morning I took my little brown case with me to school. My mom seemed to be surprised at my case and went on to tell me the hard truth. Yes, it was true that we were going to build an airplane with papier mache, but it was not able to take us anywhere, at least not more than a metre or two. I was sincerely disappointed, almost angry at myself for believing that a papier mache plane could take us across the world, crossing oceans and unknown lands. My mind had once again succeeded on taking me on an imaginary journey, a journey which ultimately ended up in disappointment.

During my school years when leadership games were played, I could never grasp the idea of being blindfolded while being lead by another. I simply refused or stood blindfolded and wouldn’t dare to move. When we were told to relax and drop back into another’s arms I would sludge my way down in a tense way with my arms positioned behind me. Nevertheless, when it was my turn to lead or catch another I took great pain in trying to convince someone to trust me and it became my little passion that I continued to work on so hard during my life.

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The Wonder Years - Introduction
A Woman of Virtue - To Mum
The Wonder Years (Part 1) My Earliest Memory
The Wonder Years (Part 2) Sensitivity and its Implications
The Wonder Years (Part 3) Dad
The Wonder Years (Part 4) The Sun, The Moon & Disappointment
The Wonder Years (Part 8) Chocolate Milk & The Cool Sea Breeze
The Wonder Years (Part 15) - Race, Memory and Innocence
The Wonder Years (Part 16) In Between Two Worlds

A Long December - Poetry